Tuesday, 6 July 2010


So, how many times have you been driving, minding your own business, maybe listening to a bit of music, obviously checking your mirrors and keeping your whits about you enjoying the views. Then all of a sudden, from absolutely nowhere, some idiot barely missed the front of your car by an inch or so and they calmly signal thank you in their rearview mirror as if nothing at all has happened.

Mean while you have entered into the first stages of road rage. The first stage of course being the cold sweat, hands gripped onto the steering wheel, knuckles turning white, the realisation that you have just escaped death, or worse than this, your beloved car smashed to bits and you survive to see the damage. Looking up, you notice the calm silhouetted hand wave from the idiot who has caused this build up of blood pressure, signalling to you "Thank you" as if you meant to slam on your breaks and cause a near death experience to you and your passengers. This display of ignorance of course only helps you move to the next phase of road rage.

So after the cold sweat and the white knuckle ride, comes the sobering thought of what almost happened and that is when the second phase of road rage erupts, the anger. "F*&ing idot", the inside of your car turns blue with language you never even thought your mouth was capable of uttering, your rant goes on and on, accompanied with hand gestures so vigorous, other drivers assume you are in the middle of an epileptic fit, just to confirm their concerns your face starts contorting to shapes unknown to man, spitting frantically like an animal suffering with rabies.

The instigator of this metamorphoses of your character has now noticed not al is well with the driver behind. At first they consider stopping the car to help the poor soul in the middle of an epileptic, however on closer inspection of their rearview mirror, it becomes apparent they have upset someone and perhaps stopping is not the best move.

A small and meaningless chase begins, but as the idiot driver in front has no intentions of stopping, the fit you have just entered into has time to recover and when the red mist lifts, you vision becomes clear and disaster averted.

Don't you just bloody hate drivers who don't indicate.    

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